(25) I am what I am

~ Quinn ~

I hadn’t realized how small and delicate Blair was until we started dancing. The top of his head barely came past my shoulder and he felt almost fragile, like if I held him too tightly he’d break. Not that that stopped me. It felt good holding him close. The music was slow for a change, which is why I chose that moment to ask him to dance. The fast stuff might make my toes tap as I listened, but on the dance floor I was a total klutz trying to keep up with it.

I resisted letting my hands drift down to cup his ass. Every instinct told me that if I did he’d vanish and I’d never see him again. And I was fast coming to believe that I didn’t want that to happen, which was strange for me. Despite what I’d told him, I’d never really even tried to form an attachment that lasted past the morning after. Part of that was because of the job. It took too much of my time, which wouldn’t be fair to anyone I might have wanted to hook up with. And, honestly, part of it was a fear of commitment in general.

Blair broke into my thoughts as he wrapped his arms around my neck. “This is nice,” he said softly.

“Very nice.” My eyes fastened on his mouth and I wondered what he’d taste like if I kissed him. I started to lean in to find out and then pulled back. Another move I was certain would have him running from me fast. ‘Slow and easy’ I cautioned myself.

Apparently he didn’t agree with my thoughts because he rose up on tiptoe to brush his lips over mine. I hesitated before cupping the back of his head in my hand to return the tentative kiss with a gentle one of my own. I felt his breath escape in a soft sigh but he didn’t try to pull away. In fact his tongue slipped out just enough to trace over the line of my lips as if tasting them before it vanished again. If I’d been with anyone else, I’d have taken that as an invitation to plunder his mouth while I had the chance, but with him I vowed to take things one slow step at a time.

Breaking the kiss I looked down into his eyes. They were so dark as to be almost black and I wondered if mine were the same. I couldn’t believe how much I wanted to keep this shy young man in my life.

Before I could say something I probably shouldn’t have the music changed, a pounding beat that matched the throbbing ache in my groin and the pulsing of my heart. I took that as a sign we should get off the dance floor before we got trampled. Putting my arm around his waist I led him back to the table.